The World Against Him
by Myriad-13
Summary: One-Shot. Jesse swears the world is against each and every resolution he makes. But in time, he comes to appreciate it, because it meant Beca was always on his mind. A behind the scenes look at Jesse from after the Semi-Finals to the Finals.


**A/N: I'm a little rusty. This is the first attempt at fanfiction I've made in months. I hope you all enjoy. **

**Rating: T**

**Characters: Jesse/Beca, OC Chris, Benji, rest of cast. **

**Warnings: Songs. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or the songs used in this fic in any way. I'm just playing with them.**

* * *

**The World Against Him**

* * *

Jesse swears the world is against each and every resolution he makes.

He had made the decision after the semi-finals where…she-who-would-not-be-named (as Benji called her) had taken all his good intentions, all his feelings, crushed them and jammed them right down his throat until he choked. At his lowest points, he could still hear the anxiety in her voice as she cut him to the quick: "_Can you back off?!"_

His decision was to forget about Beca. Forget about the way she rolled her eyes whenever he dropped by her dorm for a movication night. Forget how he could smell the reminder of some fruity kind of lotion on her skin whenever they sat shoulder to shoulder while he cajoled her to keep her eyes on the screen of his laptop, not darting longingly towards her mixing equipment. Block off that part of his mind that kept bringing up her smile, her eyes lighting up with his dorky actions. Not listen to his heartstrings pull when he saw her guard herself, knowing that there was something that scarred her emotionally, so deeply.

Nope, he wasn't going to act like a love struck puppy that got kicked.

So two days later at his usual shift at the radio station, Jesse was contentedly stacking CD's alone when the track changed, echoing around the cavernous space.

_You were always hard to hold, _

_So letting go ain't easy._

_I'm hanging on but growing cold, _

_While my mind is leaving. _

Unknowingly, Jesse hummed along to the chorus, a pang hitting him that the song described the point he was at. He was halfway gone out of this pseudo-almost relationship with Beca.

Four songs later however, Jesse was wondering if Luke (the smug British idiot) knew about what went down between he and Beca. This was the fourth depressing song in a row and all he could do was break the resolution to think about a certain brunette. There was even Poison's 'Every Rose has it's Thorn' thrown in the mix.

"Okay guys, let's pick it up with a bit of mainstream," Luke's voice comes through the radio.

Jesse groans, tempted to just walk out when Maroon 5's 'Misery' remix played. Ordinarily, he would love the song and bust a few dance moves while Luke wasn't looking, but his frame of mind just couldn't handle it and he scowled. The one saving grace was that Spring Break was in a few days and he could return home to North Carolina – where there was nothing to remind him of Beca.

* * *

He was wrong.

She had followed him there.

Not physically, but in his mind (his rebellious, love struck heart must have made a deal with his head). On his first night back in his bed, Jesse had dreamt of her. Taking her out to discover the hidden paths through the forest three streets away from his house, riding bikes to his favourite diner to slurp chocolate milkshakes and fight over who got the last fried chip in the bowl.

When he woke that morning, he had wanted to scream at the futility of it all.

His parents and older brother noticed. While his mother and father had merely given him space, Chris, his brother, had come into the cave he called his bedroom and unceremoniously announced, "It's about a girl, isn't it?"

"Am I that obvious?"

Chris chuckled. "Neon signs, bro."

Jesse sighed and placed his laptop off to the side. He might as well talk it out in the hopes he could purge himself. "Yeah," he admitted.

"What happened? She rejected you?" Chris asked, flopping on the bed next to Jesse.

"Yeah."

"Details. Come on, this is the first time you've ever had interest in a girl. Personally, I was beginning to wonder if you batted for the other team."

Jesse threw his brother a glare at the lame attempt at teasing and said, "Thanks. Reassuring." Seeing Chris gesture for him to explain, Jesse gave in. "Her name is Beca. We met…well, more like I sang to her from the back of the car when I got to Barden. And she looked at me like I was a lunatic, but it was great to do it at the time. Then, I met her again when it turned out we both worked at the radio station. She's…" he searched for the right words to describe her. "Different."

"Like a good different or…?"

"At first, it was good. She's on the short side, brunette, heavy eye makeup, but she's still pretty. She dreams of being a DJ/producer in LA, which she can totally do, because she's got the sickest mixes I've ever heard. She got an amazing voice. Seriously, out of this world. So soulful, and you can tell it comes from this deep place of pain and suffering. But she's not easy to impress. She hates movies, and if you can get her to really smile, it's a miracle." He paused and murmured, "The bad bit is, she doesn't let anyone in. I tried and look where it got me. Moping like a sixteen year old."

Chris let out a low whistle. "You fell hard."

"I didn't know how far until she pushed me away."

Chris shook his head, "And you couldn't come up with some idea from one of the many rom-coms you've watched to get her to like your nerdy butt again?"

"So she could put out a restraining order on me? No thank you," Jesse replied dryly.

"Damn man. I've never seen you this low since the time I accidentally cracked your 'The Breakfast Club' disc," Chris muttered.

"Nice way to cheer me up."

"Hey, I went out and bought you the collector's edition to make up for it!" Chris argued, teasingly punching his brother's shoulder. "Come on, let's get out of here. I'm going to take you to your happy place."

"And just how would you know what my happy place is?" Jesse asked, a grin playing at the corners of his mouth.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Anyone who knows you know that any DVD shop is the biggest wet dream for you. If it gets you out of here, I'll even shout you for a few."

Jesse felt lighter at the show of brotherly love and followed Chris out. Maybe going to a store wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

"Stop laughing."

Chris's grinned at his little brother, the mirth bubbling under the surface. "I'm not."

Jesse huffed as John Mayer played over the store radio.

_Clouds of sulfur in the air  
Bombs are falling everywhere  
It's heartbreak warfare  
Once you want it to begin,  
No one really ever wins  
In heartbreak warfare._

Jesse was coming around to the fact that it was getting really hard to forget about Beca.

* * *

Her first message reached him the next day. A simple text.

_I'm sorry._

He resisted the urge to text back. He was done. He was done being nice and getting nothing in return for it.

But he couldn't find it in him to delete the message either, and kept reading it throughout the day.

She sent him a text a day, obviously yearning for contact with him, and sometimes he nearly broke his rule to not reply and get tangled up in her personal problems at the expense of his emotions.

_I really mean sorry this time. Plz text back._

_So…uh, I know ur ignoring me, but I watched the Breakfast Club. U were right. _

_Jesse, can we talk?_

And so on. Beca even left voicemails, saying how she regretted how she acted towards him. The hardest day for him was the day he was packing up to return to Barden and she left him a voicemail – more vulnerable than the others, and she was obviously drunk, the liquor loosening her tongue.

"_Jesseeee. I miss you. You…y-you were my first friend in years, I just wanted you to know. I'm so sorry. I effed it all up and I wish I cooould turn back time."_

It tore him apart how she got under his skin, but he fixated on his resolve. She still didn't realise what she did.

* * *

Jesse never thought Beca would actually seek him out to apologise, let alone come to his dorm. When he saw her, he overreacted a little by closing the door in her face. It was either that or break down about how much she really meant to him and how it had crushed him that she had thrown it in his face. Sitting back down on his bed, he breathed slowly and evenly to calm himself, to stop from doing something rash and kinda romantically stupid by running after her and laying himself out again.

But how he ached for her.

In classes he found himself sketching DJ equipment and ear spikes in the margins of his notebooks. The Breakfast Club became the most played movie in his laptop. And in Trebles rehearsals, he would pretend that Beca was watching him perform like he was performing for her.

He had heard rumours that the Bellas were back together and getting ready for the Finals of the ICCA's after a team was disqualified. It was interesting though. No one knew what they were planning, and the Bellas themselves kept things very hush hush. He saw Beca with them, so he had the satisfaction of knowing she wasn't lonely anymore.

It was the day that Bumper had dropped the bombshell on the Trebles when Jesse heard her sing for the first time since the semi finals. He and Benji were hurriedly walking from their dorm to the Trebles house to get Benji initiated when he heard it.

It was faint, unmistakable, coming from behind one of the performing arts buildings.

Jesse slowed, Benji following him, as he crept closer to the sound of Beca singing, her tone sincere and mournful.

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me  
And all this devotion was rushing out of me  
In the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me  
But the arms of the ocean delivered me  
_

He could just see her, face to the wall, singing with her eyes screwed shut. Jesse wanted to run to her, take her away and hug her because of what she was feeling. Her singing gave him a bead of hope nestled somewhere in his chest. Hope that she was finally understanding herself, and more importantly, understanding that she was too special for her to push away others.

_Though the pressure's hard to take  
It's the only way I can escape  
It seems a heavy choice to make  
And now I am under all_

Benji was tugging on his arm gently, whispering, "If you go to her now, she'll push you away more."

Benji was right. Reluctantly, they crept back out of the alleyway and made their way back to the Trebles, the brotherly code between them not needing to speak of what had just happened.

* * *

Finals.

He was pretty happy and excited for the set they were about to perform, and he was determined not to let anything get him down.

When Beca wished him good luck, all he could come up was a half-hearted 'Thanks, you too.' Any more would have screwed with the determined happy facade he was intent on producing on stage – while the knowledge Beca would be watching from the wings spurred him on to knock it out of the park.

However, after the performance, his doubts came creeping back in. They hadn't taken any steps forward really, and he wasn't sure if it would change. In his seat in the audience, he watched as the Bella's came out, dressed like individuals instead of conforming to the flight attendant like outfits. He could see Bea, holding the pitch pipe (that was surprising) in the back.

They began, and he couldn't help but feel like they were reliving 'I saw the sign' but in modern times with a slowed down Jessie J.

Then it picked up, Lily doing some amazing beat boxing while the girls sang in perfect harmony.

It was great, but his enthusiasm just wasn't there.

'_Hey, hey, hey, hey.'_

It couldn't be.

But there was no way he could mistake that music. Her voice, singing one of the greatest songs in the world. His head rose and fixated on Beca, front and centre, magnetising his gaze.

_Won't you come see about me,__  
__I'll be alone dancin you know it baby,__  
__Tell me your troubles and doubts,__  
__Givin me everything inside and out,__  
_

His hope grew and Jesse felt like he had been hit with a sledgehammer at the realisation that Beca was singing this song to him, staring at him in the crowd, pouring everything that she felt out. He wished he could shout that he accepted her apology the day she sent it and that they had both been wrong. She was gorgeous and alluring, up on that stage, and it took his breath away.

_Don't you forget about me,__  
__As you walk on by,__  
__Will you call my name,__  
__As you walk on by,__  
__will you call my name,__  
__As you walk on by__  
__Will you call my name__  
_

He had spent all that time trying to forget her. He should have known it was futile. Jesse was hooked and he knew it. It was that little growl in her voice, the vulnerability. He grinned, fist pumping the air, and he could see the change in Beca, instantly taking it up another level as she did the same.

_I say la lalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala_

Jesse barely registered the rest of the Bellas. He could only see Beca.

When she came off the stage and ran to him, his grin could have been seen from the moon it was so big. "I told you, the endings are the best part."

"You're such a weirdo."

And then she was kissing him, making him complete, and Jesse appreciated that the world hadn't let up in its pursuit to remind him every day about this perfectly flawed woman in his arms.

* * *

They were walking around the fringes of Central Park nearing midnight, close to the team hotels. They were having a long overdue talk.

"You realise you just did a big romantic gesture."

"It was my equivalent of the boom box in 'Say Anything,'" Beca admitted bashfully.

Jesse smirked, "I _can_ die a hero. You watched movies all by yourself!"

Beca rolled her eyes and nudged him with her shoulder. "I had nothing else better to do, and you were right. Some of them were really, really good."

Jesse stopped stock still and raised his hands. "Let the world pause for the moment for this announcement. Beca Mitchell has admitted that I, Jesse Swanson, was right," he called out. He fist-pumped the air, much to Beca's amusement.

"You're such a dork," she said affectionately.

"As long as I'm your dork," he teased back, slinging his arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her temple.

Beca's face morphed into something sincere. "Jesse, you know how you asked why I pushed people away?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to tell you."

Jesse knew this was big coming from Beca, and led them over to a nearby bench and kept her close, as if letting her out of his arms would make this night dissolve into a wonderful dream. His heart did a little flop as her head came to rest on his shoulder and her petite frame relaxed into him. "Go ahead. Whatever it is, I won't judge."

"I know." She took a deep breath and let it out. "You're the only guy I've ever trusted this much, let's get that clear. And I think it's mostly because of my parents' divorce." The shining brilliance of her happiness faded as the unpleasant memories returned to her. Jesse wished he would put this off to another time, but he needed to know. "My dad was amazing all through my life and then one day when I was 12, he just walked out. No goodbye, no reason, just because he felt like he couldn't put on a happy face that he loved my mom. He left me behind. I didn't speak to him until I was 15. In that time, my mom had a few rebound relationships, but they were total douchebags. I learned to close myself off so I didn't have to talk to them or pretend I liked these no-hopers for my mom's sake. At school, I changed, so my friends shunned me. The only guy that ever showed interest in me before you was some alt DJ boy in senior year with me. On our first date, he totally destroyed what little trust I had in men when he tried to get me to have sex with him," Beca revealed.

"What happened?"

"He got a knee to the nuts," Beca replied with a slight grin.

Hoping to cheer her up, Jesse joked, "Remind me if you're mad at me. I know what your right hook is like, I can only imagine how lethal your knee is."

They chuckled and Beca snuggled into him. "This is nice."

"What part?"

"The fact I let you know the things that hurt me and I don't feel…anxious or freaked out by it," she answered honestly. "That, and being here. With you. Feeling."

"I know what you mean. I missed you so much," he admitted, exchanging a piece of personal information in return for her confession.

Beca looked up, staring into his eyes like a promise. "Let's never do that again."

"Let's. As long as you…" he smiled and in the spirit of cheesiness, sang, "_don't you forget about me._"

He was silenced by a laugh and another spine tingling kiss.

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that. I wanted to do a more sober take of Jesse, because I'm sure a heck of a lot more stuff went down behind the scenes. Reviews would be great if you are willing to give them.**


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